This weekend I let New York soak into my skin and I feel like I had interactions with Newton’s Third Law in mind: “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
Let me break that thought down: you can tell either with friendships or with net new peeps when people are genuinely making an effort: making an effort to introduce themselves, making an effort to maintain eye contact with you, asking you thoughtful questions, and if they’re authentically interested in carrying on the conversation. It’s been a HOT MINUTE since I’ve had the opportunity to meet completely new folks in a gathering of “friends of friends” and I’m reminded of the importance of mutual effort. In college, I would overcompensate and want to be friends with almost everyone. Times have changed for the better and I think it’s always best to lead with kindness, you do not need to wear the metaphorical “please like me button”. (However, the show “Please like me” on Hulu is good! Check it out) I think large and small signs of growth are a beautiful thing. I also hold gratitude for friends who always show the fuck up. It was also apparently the last weekend of summer and I felt the breeze hit differently on Sunday. Change is coming, as it always does...are we ready?
Books I wish I read in high school
Brown Trans Figurations by Rethinking Race, Gender, and Sexuality in Chicanx/Latinx Studies by Francisco J. Galarte, first I love the cover of this book peeps so if you haven’t seen it—Google! Think about what roles you’ve typically seen queer trans Latinx and Chicanx folks play in pop culture. Do you envision way too many stereotypes and tropes? Oftentimes, it’s easy for people on the margins to be erased but in this book Galarte talks about how sexuality, identity, and race intersect.
Read if: you wish we had more historical contexts around our Brown trans brothers and sisters
Books where you save yourself
Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement by Tarana Burke, Listen to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation episode about Unbound with Tarana and her journey as a movement starter, advocate, activist, storyteller and survivor (it’s two parts). Burke talks about how she processed her trauma and gifted us language around “capacity” for people who do love us but don’t have the capacity to be there in the way we need them.
Read if: You want to know the origins of “Me Too”
Not your typical eat pray love
Skye Falling by Mia McKenzie, one more time for the cheap seats in the back... intimacy is harddddd. In this fictional book, Mia is faced with a 12 year old girl who was the tween version of the egg she donated when she was twenty six. Now forty, Skye is thinking about her life, long term partnership, commitment and what she is willing to compromise on. This story resonated with me because it made me think of something my “woo” friend shared. Bare with me, in your 29th year of life “Saturn returns” meaning that a lot of people reflect around this time in life and Saturn is in the exact position it was when you were born. Adults start picturing what their adult life could be--oftentimes, on auto pilot if it goes unexamined. Skye reflects on her life as the heroine in this story about what she wants her life to be, challenging the way she’s always gone about relationships and yes, she’s 40 so it’s never too late to do some examining and think about what you want the rest of your adult life to be.
Read if: you love a good complicated heroine and know that life isn't’ black & white
On trend
Frying Plantain by Zalika Reid-Benta: Hispanic Heritage month started on September 15 and is celebrated until mid October on the 15th but you prob know what i’m going to say, we have to remember intersectional identity and not only celebrate but recognize the nuance of identity. Kara Davis is the main character and she is straddling her identity and questioning if she is “Jamaican enough”, “too loud” “too quiet” and too ______ and ______ enough. This fictional story about family and the truth behind cruel jokes is a captivating book.
Read if: you’ve ever questioned if you’re “______ enough”
Decolonize your mind
My Broken Language by Quiara Alegría Hudes: Hudes writes this memoir of her life from her roots in North Philly to her roots as a woman of color, her roots as a woman in a family of strong women, and from her roots as a Yale student. Caught between her community and identity, she questions where her story fits in the barrio, at school, and living in what seems like many separate worlds. Check out her activist work on Emancipated Stories.
Read if: you’ve thought about where your story fits in the world as wellllll
Local bookshop spotlight:the Salt Eaters was born out of the founder’s desire to make stories with non-white protagonists more accessible to her community in Inglewood, CA. She started the Salt Eaters from a GoFundMe and is inspired by Toni Cade Bambara. They aim “to create a Black feminist literary hub and resting ground for dreamers, seekers of knowledge, creatives, writers, community archivists, artists, change agents, and those invested in a liberation practice that holds Black women, girls, femmes, and non-binary people at the center.”