I have a few asks for everyone on this shortened week, hoping that you have Monday off--I’m all for the 4 day work week y'all but who isn’t?
Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself as much grace that you give to others.
Stop overthinking.
Reach out to someone you love and tell them you love them because it’s not a given no matter how often you talk to them or think about them ;)
ANYWHOO--
Here are some of my thoughts JUST FOR YOU: We’re entering June, a new month, supposedly the start of summer (even though we had such shitty weather in NY), and the start of Pride where many corporations try to show their solidarity with the LGBTQ community by making a profit off of turning their merchandise rainbow. (insert upside down smiley face emoji here--hint don’t do that) Check this out from one of my favs, ARD.
This resonates with me. If we talk on the reg you MAY (hopefully) have noticed that I'm actively trying to not give advice when not requested. How fun!
I binged the end of Euphoria and the Friends Reunion episode this weekend, interesting! Very different moods. Zendaya is fucking amazing. (NOTE: she’s the youngest person to win the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Drama series. Mic drop. Lots of trigger warnings if you watch though) One of the lines that stood out from the Friends Reunion was when one of the producers talked about there being a VERY SPECIFIC time in your life that your friends are your family and then that moment passes when you ‘get your own family’, interesting message. Similar to when there are plot lines when you “miss a middle” in a relationship because of a miscommunication, I wholeheartedly resent the idea that your whole life is leading up to this ONE point and when you achieve X,Y,Z then you “have it”. (i.e. an owned house, a family, marriage, job) Does that make sense? Have we talked about this before in the opener of Substack? Yes, yes we have.
June 1 is also the anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre, the most brutal massacre in US history. This is where about 300 people died in Tulsa, Oklahoma by a white mob. Other stats: 200 MN estimated to be lost in today’s dollars, 600 successful business were lost, 35 city blocks of housing demolished, 16 or more hours of indiscriminate murder, rape, looting, bombing and destriction. Read up if you haven’t already.
If you’re in or around NY check out these two comedy shows for women and LGBTQ stand ups: here and here. I love comedy shows (who doesn’t like to laugh? I also think they’re good for dates) and if you have any recommendations where there are less comedians that are straight men complaining about how they can’t get laid, hit me up!
XOXO you know you love us.
Books I wish Read in High School
The Wondrous and Tragic Life of Ivan and Ivana Paperback by Maryse Condé This came out in French in 2017 when Condé turned 80 years old. The narrator highlights the complicated life of two twins, Ivan and Ivana, who’re joined at the hip when they’re younger however, they become estranged. After choosing different paths, their lives intersect years later in the city of Paris and they need to grapple with their lost (yet unforgotten) connection and lives in the context of racism, terrrorism, globalization and more.
Read if: You’re looking for a story that’s not black and white, you are looking for a thought provoking book that explores experiences/bonds that will never be broken.
Books where you save yourself
Ghosts , By Dolly Alderton: All About Love writer Dolly and famed hostess of the High Low Podcast (please can we get a revival is back) with a witty, funny novel about love and loss in your thirties. A thirty year old food writer jumping through love’s hoops is the name of the game.
Read if: You’ve been aching for a book like Sally Rooney’s Conversation with Friends to keep you at home. Here it is!
On Trend
Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah: Trevor Noah and Minka are on the outs so no better time to read up on Trevor so if you bump into him at the coffee shop, you can get a chat and a date request. His bio about his life, his amazing mama and growing up in South Africa. A hero tbh.
Read if: I mean its summer and he’s hot so read because we all want that date mami.
Not your typical eat, pray, love
You Are Your Best Thing Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience by Tarana Burke & Dr. Brené Brown, published in April this book actually started as all good things do, a text between two friends, you know what we’re talking about--when you’re like this just happened I need to text my gal pal because she will definitely see and hear me! Burke texted Brown to have a hard conversation around her work resonating with her BUT she felt it didn’t fully address the experience of Black women. So they started working on this book together. As Maya Angelou said, “when you know better you do better”, This book is specific to Black shame and healing in a white supremecist world huntees.
Read if: You should just read this but if you need convincing, read if you understand that vulnerability is nuanced, and are a fan of Tarana Burke and Brené Brown’s work.
Decolonize your mind
Salamat Sa Intersectionality by Dani Putney This recently published book (May 18) of poetry focuses on the topics of the following at a specific growth period for the writer: identity, self expression, voice, and the journey of “coming of age”. These vignettes are deeply personal to Putney and this is their debut release. There are poems about queer sexuality, parental relationships, and having an actual sense of self--which is hard, duh. These poems are transient and go from California to Talisay City. Dani Putney is a queer, non-binary, mixed-race Filipinx, & neurodivergent writer hailing from the golden coast.
Read if: You enjoy some heartfelt poetry, are also looking to read about getting that sense of self shit down and are interested in self expression honies.
Independent Bookstore Map:
June kicks of Pride Month and we’re celebrating by continuously highlighting queer POC voices this month and throughout the year. As an aside, you probably know this but we can’t stress enough, we need to thank and name trans women of color for their work in of LGBTQ activism, like Marsha P. Johnson.
Today we’re highlighting Giovanni’s Room Bookstore in Philadelphia. This is the oldest LGBTQ and feminist bookstore in the country. It was founded in 1973 and honored as an official historical site by the government in 2011. Their sister store is Philly Aids Thrift. This bookstore is named after James’s Baldwin’s novel Giovanni’s Room. Check them out at 12th and Pine Street honeys!